A Note from Habeebah on Rage

“Every Black woman in America lives her life somewhere along a wide curve of ancient and unexpressed rages.”

Audre Lorde

Greetings Friends,

If you appreciate hip hop like I do, you no doubt witnessed a historic rap beef unfold over the past week.  And if you followed this battle, you likely felt the euphoria (pun intended) that hip hop heads across the globe shared as two talented artists challenged one another song-for-song and bar-for-bar with nothing left as sacred. No matter who was thought to be the winner, Kendrick Lamar or Drake—because every rap battle has a winner—we left this experience with a newfound appreciation for the level of anger and disdain that one of these artists had for the other. 

Kendrick Lamar’s lyrics reflected a rage with his opponent that had been clearly festering for a long time, and not for reasons one might expect in a hip hop beef—this was about more than who gets to claim the title of “Best Rapper Alive.” He expressed his hatred for what he believes Drake represents: the exploitation of Black culture and appropriation of the Black American experience. 

Now this is a beef (and conversation) worth having!

Importantly, there was also a long overdue calling out of Drake’s extremely disturbing behavior towards and interactions with teenaged girls. (This deserves its own blog but I digress.)

Now you might be wondering, “Habeebah, what does a rap beef have to do with Black motherhood?” First, I must admit that I’m someone who appreciates the petty and profane as much as the profound. The pettiness of the longstanding beef, the profane expressions of outrage coming out Kendrick’s writing, and his profound gift with language (and love of Blackness) were quite something to behold. 

And not for nothing, I’m a fan of K.Dot because he’s been clear about his love for Black people in all our complexities, open about his life and struggles, and unapologetic about his gift of lyricism since he showed up on the scene. He’s a Pulitzer Prize winning son of a Black woman and he has done the hip hop genre proud. 

But there’s a more personal reason this battle of the pen(s) touched me—and particularly the rage that fueled Kendrick’s releases: my own recent experiences with rage.

I’ve been wrestling with, trying to soothe, and hoping to assuage my rage for months now, and I’m realizing  I need to be present with what demands to be simply acknowledged. 

In the days before Kendrick and Drake’s beef went from 0 to 100, I shared with my executive coach that I have been struggling with anger and rage. I expressed how it was impeding my writing, lessening my life satisfaction, and causing me to feel stuck. The wisdom she shared with me in that session aligned perfectly with what would soon be witnessed in Kendrick Lamar’s lyrics. Sometimes we have to honor that there are things we utterly despise, things that relentlessly outrage us, and situations we cannot be silent about or they will eat us alive.  

Thanks to my coach, the incomparable Niké Olabisi-Green, I spent the last week honoring my rage through journal entries that railed against militarism and violence, the horror that children must endure in this world, and things that are personal challenges for me in this moment. I have chosen to honor my rage even now as I share this piece with you—allowing myself to be authentic about where I am emotionally. 

I was navigating the early years of adulthood in the late-90s so I’m very aware that the rage ignited by a rap beef can have devastating consequences. I pray that that history is never repeated. 

However, I relate to feeling a level of rage and disgust so intense that it needs to be given voice—literally, given voice—so as to not destroy from the inside out. I also relate to the experience of collective outrage that was apparent in Black culture by this beef’s seeming end.

There are things that absolutely should outrage us and those things deserve our energy and attention. I reflect on my conversations on No Crystal Stair Podcast and am certain that rage with our conditions fuels our action as Black mothers. There is something beautiful being forged in the fire.

Peace and Blessings,

Habeebah

May 9, 2024